I can read all the articles and watch all news reports on TV about the South Park scientology episode scandle and I still wouldn't understand it.

South Park was created essentially to make fun of everything and everybody. Every ethnicity, nationality, culture, size, weight, color, deformity (fictional or not), hair color (namely ginger), sexual orientation, financial status, gender and yes, religion, were all subject to ridicule in South Park. And out of all the religions in the world to be offended by this overtly satirical show, one would think that Islam would take the bait, but no. It was scientology.

Do you see what I'm getting at? It doesn't get any more ludicrous than that!

"The Passion of the Jew" is one of the most obnoxious episodes of South Park I've ever seen. But, man, was it funny! Especially when Cartman, dressed as Hitler, gets shat on by Mel Gibson.

So people should really cut the sensitivity bullshit and start having a better sense of humor.

Peace, love and know where to draw the line.

Fun facts brought to you by the National Pot... I mean, Post.

Pot-laced food items confiscated during a drug bust last week bore labels such as Stoney Ranchers, Munchy Way, Rasta Reece's, Buddafingers, Pot Tarts, Double Puff Oreo, Keef Kat, Twixed, Budtella, Puff-A-Mint Pattie, Puffsi, Bong's Root Beer and Toka Cola.

Some fucking 5-0 said that people do not understand that kids can get their hands on that stuff.

That's bullshit.

You know what I don't understand? What do all these police officers do with all the buddha they confiscate? I bet if they found a food item labeled Doobie Doughnuts, they'd eat the shit at the drop of a dime (no puns intended). Lord knows a good 5-0 can't resist doughnuts, laced with pot or not.

I feel really sorry for all the good people who worked so hard to make these fine products to see them confiscated at the end.

And about those "innocent children," it's the parents' fault if their kids do get their hands on that stuff. So the parents are to blame. There. We've cleared the millions of pot-makers, pot-dealers and pot-users nationwide. Pot is here to stay. Deal with it.

Peace, love and LEGALIZE!

The following is a profile of Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Danish woman and a former Muslim involved in the Liberal party of the Netherlands, I believe, who is now in hiding because of the Muhammad cartoon controversy. She is the epitome of Islamic moderation and feminism.

Enjoy!

 

 

Written by: Anthony McIntyre

On: 12 March 2006

 

I think that the prophet was wrong to have placed himself and his ideas above critical thought.
I think that the prophet Muhammad was wrong to have subordinated women to men.
I think that the prophet Muhammad was wrong to have decreed that gays be murdered.
I think that the prophet Muhammad was wrong to have said that apostates must be killed.
He was wrong in saying that adulterers should be flogged and stoned, and the hands of thieves should be cut off.
He was wrong in saying that those who die in the cause of Allah will be rewarded with paradise.
He was wrong in claiming that a proper society could be built only on his ideas.
Demanding that people who do not accept Muhammad's teachings should refrain from drawing him is not a request for respect but a demand for submission.

Death Metal?!

That's the latest inside joke about me. At work, when we wanna get a laugh, one of my co-workers looks at me with a shocked and confused expression and says "Death Metal?!"

It started a few weeks ago when I "came out" to my superior and told her I like that genre. And being the innocent-looking (that is, innocent-LOOKING) girl that I am, she replied "come again?"

It's the kind of music that makes you go "what the hell is he saying?" And you wouldn't say "what the hell is she saying" because chances are you wouldn't think for a second that a chick can sing like that.

Well think again. That growling you're hearing right now (unless the player is misbehaving or I changed the song) is a chick. That's right. A chick!

One of my co-workers seems very curious about this underground genre. Although, every time I tell her I have music, she says "I hope it's not death metal."

So for her, I guess, it's a kind of forbidden fruit. She's afraid to get too close, fearing she might like it too much and eventually get sucked into the underground and go through the same shit I'm going through now to get the albums, the t-shirts and whatever. Or maybe not, I don't know...

I used to be just like that, back in high school when I discovered Marilyn Manson. First time I saw him on TV, I was totally disgusted but I couldn't stop watching. And the more I watched, the more I hated and the more I loved. Since then, I graduated to more underground metal and eventually speed and death metal. 

But what is it about death metal that seems to be so taboo? Why are most people I know so scared of it? It may be a question of taste but you can't deny the fact that the musicians are as talented as they come. They play like a metronome, the drums and the guitars are synchronized down to the last milli-second. It sounds almost humanly impossible to play like that for a straight 4 or 5 minutes, much less for a whole two hours if they play live. And with all honesty, it really takes skill to be able to growl like that.

Maybe it's because of the name? Death metal does not have the same appeal as Rhythm and Blues, yet the latter is fucking BORING!! And it doesn't have the same appeal as rap, yet the latter is fucking obscene and generally sexist. Lord knows it doesn't have the same appeal as pop, yet again that one is just plain stupid and repetitive, made especially by Airheads Incorporated for airheads worldwide.

Maybe it's not coombaya enough for people who like singing along to it. Try growling your way through Ravenous, it's not easy. I tried it, and gagged after 15 seconds. But I'm not a function. I gag while brushing my teeth... figure out the rest.

Still, death metal is the shit. Amen!

Peace, love and hate music.

So today is International Women's Day, but since I've been submerged with articles about Middle Eastern affairs at work, the only women I read about are those who are being mistreated by their husbands in those regions.

I actually read an article about some Islamic asshole who wrote a book on how to beat a woman without leaving marks and bruises on her body. What kind of sick fuck would read such a book? Oh right, the kind of sick fucks who live in those same societies that encourage "disciplining" women and who treat them like property.

Argh! This is so frustrating!!! I can't stand these patriarchic fuckers who feel so intimidated by women that they have to beat them to a bloody pulp to make themselves feel better. This guy actually beat his wife to death not long ago. Why? Christ!

*breath* OK, before I pop a vein, I'll go chill and watch some TV.

Meanwhile, have a happy International Women's Day and next time, there should be more emphasis on the INTERNATIONAL aspect of this day considering that the women who are really having a happy time today are those privileged ones like you in me living in Western societies.

Peace, love and if your husband beats you, fucking beat him back!

The controversy regarding the Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed completely misses the point. Of course, the cartoons are offensive to Muslims, but newspaper cartoons do not warrant the burning of buildings and the killing of innocent people. The cartoons did not cause the disease of hate that we are seeing in the Muslim world on our television screens at night - they are only a symptom of a far greater disease.

I was born and raised as a Muslim in Cairo, Egypt and in the Gaza Strip. In the 1950s, my father was sent by Egypt's President, Gamal Abdel Nasser, to head the Egyptian military intelligence in Gaza and the Sinai where he founded the Palestinian Fedayeen, or "armed resistance". They made cross-border attacks into Israel, killing 400 Israelis and wounding more than 900 others.

My father was killed as a result of the Fedayeen operations when I was eight years old. He was hailed by Nasser as a national hero and was considered a shaheed, or martyr. In his speech announcing the nationalisation of the Suez Canal, Nasser vowed that all of Egypt would take revenge for my father's death. My siblings and I were asked by Nasser: "Which one of you will avenge your father's death by killing Jews?" We looked at each other speechless, unable to answer.

In school in Gaza, I learned hate, vengeance and retaliation. Peace was never an option, as it was considered a sign of defeat and weakness. At school we sang songs with verses calling Jews "dogs" (in Arab culture, dogs are considered unclean).

Criticism and questioning were forbidden. When I did either of these, I was told: "Muslims cannot love the enemies of God, and those who do will get no mercy in hell." As a young woman, I visited a Christian friend in Cairo during Friday prayers, and we both heard the verbal attacks on Christians and Jews from the loudspeakers outside the mosque. They said: "May God destroy the infidels and the Jews, the enemies of God. We are not to befriend them or make treaties with them." We heard worshippers respond "Amen".

My friend looked scared; I was ashamed. That was when I first realised that something was very wrong in the way my religion was taught and practised. Sadly, the way I was raised was not unique. Hundreds of millions of other Muslims also have been raised with the same hatred of the West and Israel as a way to distract from the failings of their leaders. Things have not changed since I was a little girl in the 1950s.

Palestinian television extols terrorists, and textbooks still deny the existence of Israel. More than 300 Palestinians schools are named after shaheeds, including my father. Roads in both Egypt and Gaza still bear his name - as they do of other "martyrs". What sort of message does that send about the role of terrorists? That they are heroes. Leaders who signed peace treaties, such as President Anwar Sadat, have been assassinated. Today, the Islamo-fascist president of Iran uses nuclear dreams, Holocaust denials and threats to "wipe Israel off the map" as a way to maintain control of his divided country.

Indeed, with Denmark set to assume the rotating presidency of the UN Security Council, the flames of the cartoon controversy have been fanned by Iran and Syria. This is critical since the International Atomic Energy Agency is expected to refer Iran to the Security Council and demand sanctions. At the same time, Syria is under scrutiny for its actions in Lebanon. Both Iran and Syria cynically want to embarrass the Danes to achieve their dangerous goals.

But the rallies and riots come from a public ripe with rage. From my childhood in Gaza until today, blaming Israel and the West has been an industry in the Muslim world. Whenever peace seemed attainable, Palestinian leaders found groups who would do everything to sabotage it. They allowed their people to be used as the front line of Arab jihad. Dictators in countries surrounding the Palestinians were only too happy to exploit the Palestinians as a diversion from problems in their own backyards. The only voice outside of government control in these areas has been the mosques, and these places of worship have been filled with talk of jihad.

Is it any surprise that after decades of indoctrination in a culture of hate, that people actually do hate? Arab society has created a system of relying on fear of a common enemy. It's a system that has brought them much-needed unity, cohesion and compliance in a region ravaged by tribal feuds, instability, violence, and selfish corruption. So Arab leaders blame Jews and Christians rather than provide good schools, roads, hospitals, housing, jobs, or hope to their people.

For 30 years I lived inside this war zone of oppressive dictatorships and police states. Citizens competed to appease and glorify their dictators, but they looked the other way when Muslims tortured and terrorised other Muslims. I witnessed honour killings of girls, oppression of women, female genital mutilation, polygamy and its devastating effect on family relations. All of this is destroying the Muslim faith from within.

It's time for Arabs and Muslims to stand up for their families. We must stop allowing our leaders to use the West and Israel as an excuse to distract from their own failed leadership and their citizens' lack of freedoms. It's time to stop allowing Arab leaders to complain about cartoons while turning a blind eye to people who defame Islam by holding Korans in one hand while murdering innocent people with the other.

Muslims need jobs - not jihad. Apologies about cartoons will not solve the problems. What is needed is hope and not hate. Unless we recognise that the culture of hate is the true root of the riots surrounding this cartoon controversy, this violent overreaction will only be the start of a clash of civilisations that the world cannot bear.

• Nonie Darwish is a freelance writer and public speaker.

 

Looking for more such rational people? Check out this link from Al Jazeera. It's a woman named Wafa Sultan who totally kicks some serious Islamic fundamentalist ass!