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June 30 Last Day at WorkAliyah in 19 days.
Yesterday, my boss took my co-workers and I out to lunch, because I'm leaving. Today is my last day at work. It's sad because although the tasks are mundayn, tedious, boring to tears, and utterly unchallenging, it's the only workplace where I felt like I'm worth a little more than dirt. And to be honest, I've learned so much about the media and the knowledge I gained is absolutely invaluable.
The people here are so sweet, and treat me like an equal. Not one of them, not even the boss, nags me or tests my patience, unlike all my other jobs where the bosses lived up to their name and were indeed bossy.
Just a few minutes ago, one of my superiors told me that we'll see each other again on July 9 during a dinner my mom is having for all my co-workers, and that he doesn't want to say goodbye and start to cry (!!!).
The only time there were any tears in a place where I worked was when this one boss I had pissed me off so bad that I started crying and quit on her ass.
I've been working at the Canadian Institute for Jewish Research for the past six months, which is the longest time I've ever worked anywhere. Other jobs, volunteer positions, or internships I've had lasted no longer than three months. Either I quit because the people sucked ass or I was fired because I sucked ass at the job (being telemarketing).
The environment here is also very chill, there isn't too much pressure, people are generally always in a good mood. My bosses like to crack a joke here and there, and laugh or bitch about headlines or articles or typos or cartoons in a newspaper. The institute takes a right-wing approach on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, so any article that demonizes the Jewish State and victimizes the Palestinians or refer to Islamic terrorists as "militants" (which ultimately portrays them as heroic freedom fighters, when in fact they are a bunch of blood-thirsty murderers attacking innocent civilians) becomes an object of criticism among the people at CIJR, myself included.
CIJR is a Zionist organization that fights anti-Semitism by revealing the hypocrisy and biases in much of the daily media, and promotes support for Israel by coordinating colloquia featuring pro-Israel speakers. It has inspired me to use the knowledge I have acquired and my skills as a writer to continue the work of the institute, to spread awareness about anti-Semitism and the depiction of Israel in the mainstream media, and to challenge leftist views.
I feel the knowledge I gained has made me a better Zionist altogether.
Now back to packing.
Peace, love and Shabbat Shalom!
June 27 My Aunt FloAhhh, how great is it when scientists and gynocologists keep coming up with new and innovative ways of suppressing women?
I mean, first the duck lips. Fuck you.
And now, enter the new era of no menstrual cycle. That great miracle pill that not only keeps you from getting pregnant but also keeps you from getting your period. And get this, it also keeps you from PMS'ing.
Fuck you harder!
The way I see it, it's yet another chauvenistic conspiracy. Only guys can come up with shit like that. Thinking with your dick causes you to go out of your way in order to keep women from having their period so you can fuck them whenever you please, and we can no longer use the "mensies" defence.
No need to get your balls in a twist. Soon enough, they'll also create a pill for men that will MAKE them menstruate. Or better yet, keep the birth control purpose and make a pill for men that will keep them from producing sperm. How bout that?
Heaven forbid. Women are the ones who get pregnant, so they should be the ones taking the pill, and suffering the side effects, which are curiously similar to the symptoms of PMS - including breast tenderness and depression.
I like getting my period, and I like PMS'ing, why is it so hard to understand?
It's natural. Just like producing semen is natural for men, and sweating while fucking your brains out is natural for everyone, bleeding for a week every month is natural for women. Fucking deal with it.
Peace, love and bloody shitcakes! June 23 Get CrookedAren't straight people simply the most boring people in the world? And I'm not necessarily talking about sexual orientation. I mean, some people are just as straight as an arrow, and they're so dry and dull.
They're always straight. Their cloths are always ironed, straight. Their faces are always static, straight. Their speech is monotonous, straight. Carrying out a conversation with them is unforgivingly tedious.
If you've seen that movie "Office Space," you know exactly what I'm talking about. That boss, Bill Whats-his-name, so freaking straight.
Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with all this but if any of you identify yourself as straight (boring) individuals, I'm gonna ask you to go ahead and crumple your clothes up a little. And if you could do that, that'll be GREAT, mmmKay?
Now on to less boring shit - Pride!
It's the summer of Pride
By Matthew Christopher
MSN Dating & Personals
Summertime’s a great time to come out and show your true colors, and nobody’s more game to get in on the party than those who count themselves in as members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender crowd. In countless cities and towns across the nation, GLBT pride parades and rallies fill the streets and the city parks with a spirit of celebration, camaraderie, revelry, and purpose. Rainbow flags fly high and proud, and the out-of-the-closet fashion statements are nothing short of fabulous.
But how did all this get started? Who decided that June would be Gay Pride Month, and that the rainbow flag would become the community’s symbol of solidarity? When did it evolve from Gay Pride to GLBT Pride, and why? While contemporary Pride events now sport an air of celebration, their origins stem from darker times. June 22 Son of a BleachMy brain is racing and if I don't think of something to write soon, I'll be chewing my fingers all the way up to my wrists.
I vowed I would not mention his name again because he's not worth the recognition but Ahmadinejad is getting on my case.
However, he should be treated like a little annoying brat. The more you ignore him, the more he'll shut the hell up. Then again, I'm not so sure. They treated Hitler like a little annoying brat using the much overrated method of appeasement, and we're still eating shit because of that. Only Ahmadinejad will never ackowlege what happened. As far as he's concerned, Hitler and the Holocaust is just a figment of EVERYBODY's imagination. He's right, everybody else is wrong. He's the historian, the co-author of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and we're just a bunch of normal people relying on common sense. Stupid, stupid us.
You know, if he's so confident that the Holocaust never happened, why does he keep talking about it and calling for investigations on the matter? If he actually manages to "prove" that it never happened, doesn't that kind of defy his reasoning that Israel should have been established in Europe?
Therefore, here is the list of people that should be put in the loony bin:
- Ahmadinejad
- Sadaam
- Moussaoui
- Mickey Mouse
- Hamas officials
- Neturei Karta
Sorry to those who I forgot to mention. I'd like to thank you for making this world that much more ridiculous. Without you, we would have no one to make fun of and throw vibrators at.
Peace, love, and SEX! Just had to write that. June 18 You Know, Corn...!Last Friday night was the first time (in Canada) that I didn't keep Shabbat, but it was so worth it.
A couple of friends came by, we had music and a bong and crazy munchies, and it was all good.
In fact, I think that once in Israel, I don't know how much of Shabbat I'll be keeping. I mean, here it's easy because you can keep Shabbat and still enjoy the weekend because you have Saturday night to get drunk and Sunday to chill and get over your hangover. But in Israel, you have to work on Sunday, so going out on Saturday night is no longer an option. That's why the best parties in Israel are on Friday night, you get drunk and have the whole Saturday to chill. So that involves getting over the guilt of not keeping Shabbat, which is not that much of a problem for me.
My parents are coming home tonight from Mexico. They were there for the past week (and that's how I managed to get away with smoking weed at home on Shabbat).
In a day, I will be a month away from my Aliyah, and in a month, I will be a day away from it. I can hardly fucking believe it. What I can't believe either is how behind I am on my packing. I think once my parents will be here, we will be packing shit every day, and we will throw away lots of shit and I'll be going on a sneezing spree because of all the dust and shit. I am not looking forward to that. And I'm also not looking forward to unpacking all that shit once I get to Israel.
I wish I could just fast forward to the part in my life where I'm all settled and comfortable, with enough cash in my savings account, and a good job with nice people, a chill house with heating and air conditioning, and maybe even a cleaning lady. I also wish to rid my jaw of this fucking speech impediment I have whenever I speak Hebrew. I mean, I'm fluent and all but I think much slower when I speak Hebrew, unless I'm angry, then I speak it (scream it, rather) like a genius.
Peace, love, and wow, that was an uninspiring blog. June 05 "Tolerance Is Holy"Shay, if you're reading this (which you're probably not) I found a replacement for you at the dinner table.
Shay, my cousin, who I love to death, is also my sworn debating rival. We argue over almost everything from feminism to homosexuality and the theory of evolution. He interprets and understands the world solely through religion. He claims that without religion, nothing in the world means anything. I prefer to take a more open-minded approach. And I'm truly happy that we respect each other's opinions, despite the fact that we may not share them.
So basically, he and I would be arguing over such issues mostly at the dinner table. But now that he lives in Israel, I found myself three other cousins at who I can dish out my liberalism.
So on Shavuot, at the dinner table, I just happened to mention that when I'll be in Israel, I'll be going to World Pride in Jerusalem. And that's when my cousin, Ehoud, probably the most homophobic person I know, more so than Shay, said that he is ashamed that such a "repugnant" display of homosexual pride is taking place in the holiest city in the world, and that it is a "disgrace" to every self-respecting Jew in Israel or the Diaspora.
I can name hundreds of even more "repugnance," "abominations," and "disgraces" to Jews worldwide that have taken place in Jerusalem at the drop of a dime. Terrorist attacks? Jew on Jew crimes? Murders? Prostitution? Religious fanatics from every religion in the city terrorizing the liberal-minded secularists? This kind of shit goes on in Jerusalem all the time.
So how is it that the one time that there is a celebration of love, diversity, tolerance, understanding, compassion, and health awareness, people choose to call it a disgrace? A disgrace to self-respecting Jews? No. Because I happen to be a self-respecting Jew, and very fucking proud of it, thank you very much. A disgrace to religious fanatics who look no further than their own closed-mindedness to judge other people who try to make a positive difference in this shitty world? Yes. So good, then. Fuck them.
I would give anything to see what would happen if one of my cousins had a kid who would turn out to be gay. Aside from disowning him, kicking him out or beating the living shit out of him (which would not turn him straight, might I add), how would my cousin deal with such an obvious reality?
Aside from that, we were also talking about feminism but nothing as heated as the discussion about homosexuality, which my father was getting sick of.
Jesus! Why does it seem like I'm the only non-homophobic (albeit gay-friendly/curious) person in my family?
Peace, love and love knows no borders, and despite the fact that you guys are homophobic twats, I love you to death! ;-)
PS - Check out the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation website at: http://www.glaad.org/ |
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